This past mother’s day came and went as they all come and go – with a nice home cooked breakfast, some family time and some sweet homemade cards. All in all, it was pleasant. But my expectations for the day were not quite met – I have become accustomed to being pampered, being lavished with thoughtful gifts and being the center of attention for a day. While my 7 year old did let me go first in our game of Go Fish “because it’s mother’s day”, it just didn’t seem special.
The expectations I place behind mother’s day have amassed for several reasons – back when I was a first time mom, then a new mom of two, my husband went all out with gifts of jewelry, cards, flowers and even painstaking crafts with the kids hand and foot prints on them. Now that my kids are 7 and 3, the reality of life has kicked in, and mother’s day has become an afterthought. No more gifts, but instead quiet family time. But more importantly, media outlets, specifically social media, add such a component of expectation to this and all other holidays that it’s almost guaranteed that most people will end up disappointed.
To me, Mother’s Day should be filled with meaningful moments of recognition – whatever those may be, such as food, experiences or just alone time – to show just how much the work moms put in each and every day mean to the rest of their family. But when your social media page blows up with images of hand made gifts, lavish spa experiences, carefully planned scavenger hunts or gourmet meals, it often leads to feelings of jealousy, disappointment and resentment. I’ve found myself in years past carefully posing all my “gifts” (however small they be) to take a perfect shot, just to post on social media. It’s almost a sort of game.
To those whose expectations fell short of their reality this past mothers day, I’m sorry you didn’t get what you wanted and deserved. You deserve all the love, light and recognition every mother deserves, for all the tireless work you do every single day. Whether your family weighed on you hand and foot or not, know that you are the backbone to your family, without whom could not survive. Know that your presence is not only necessary, but essential, to the health and well being of your family. And most importantly, know that you are perfectly within your right to ask your family for whatever you want and deserve so that next year, this time, you’ll be posting your pictures of home made gifts, gourmet meals and spa gift certificates.